Am I still special?

Hello to all my favorite people. I hope this post finds you happy and healthy, with so much love.

As a former Christian I can tell you I felt special because I believed there was a God who loved me and revealed himself to me in ways I saw at the time as being relevant to the moment. I remember feeling so much sadness for those who didn’t know God and have a personal relationship with Him. I always believed at some point, in every person’s life, they’d be given an opportunity to know God, and they would, naturally, once God lifted the veil of understanding in their eyes. I remember wanting everyone I knew and loved to know the Lord. I wanted to them to belief so we'd all be together in Heaven for eternity. I used to think unexplainable happenings I experienced that went in my favor as the hand of God. And when things didn't go as I thought they should or wanted, I would then think this all powerful being was in control so I would put my trust in that to get me through any unpleasent times in my life. I've spent many hours reading and studying the Bible, memorizing verses and staying emersed in “Gods Word.” I hope this puts to rest the misconception I was never a “true believer.” In my experience since, I haven’t crossed paths with anyone I could say was a more devoted servant to the God of the Bible than myself. Complete emersion. All my trust put into my “Faith.” I was absolutely a Christian through and through.

My change in world view has evolved over the last several years of questioning the very things that I was in constant battle with in my mind. Rationale. Thankfully rationale has won. This change hasn’t proven to be easy for myself or those close to me because I knew I was influential in showing them through the door to the paranormal, willful ignorance and the lies Christianity’s built upon. I felt a big part of me was admitting to myself and those close to me that my entire life as a believer was a lie, and in turn, theirs was as well. It was me choosing to accept as truth, a lie, and sharing that lie with my children, and spreading the word as a “true Christian” would. I feel badly for everyone I influenced to embrace this world view. From my perspective today, it acts as a virus of the mind. Making those infected unable to see the cosmos for what it truly is. A magnificently beautiful, awe-inspiring and more “magical” than any holy book can even begin to put into words. I find more wonder in the unknown. I no longer require answers. I have no qualms suggesting ‘I don’t know.'

Many people may not understand my need to express this change in my life. It is personal. The reason I wanted to have a place to share my thoughts is to enlighten those I have influenced, of the process I've gone through in my own mind, and how that process is how I was able let go of the idea of believing in something I really didn't know was true. As difinitive as I was before of there being this paranormal supreme being, I am now simply admiting I can not believe in such a thing when there is no objective evidence at this time to suggest otherwise. At the same time, I will say, if a time comes in my lifetime where objective evidence supporting the existence of a God, I’ll be happy to adjust my position.

With that said, the question and answer to my title of today's post. "Am I still special?" Of course I am. I am uniquely me. I am special to those who I love and care about. I am special to my children and my parents. I am special because I am here. I feel special to be living and breathing here on earth. I don't need to be a part of a club to be special. I don't need to prove anything about who I am to be special, I can just be me and that is enough. I like that. I can breathe a lot easier now.

If you are interested in reading some good material to answer any of your questions, I'd like to recommend reading some of Guy P. Harrison's books. His writing is enlightening, as well as easy reading with insightfulness. I've enjoyed every one of his books. I am currently enjoying this one below. My new favorite book. It uncovers how our brains work and fascinating on every level. This is the best "Ah Ha" book I've read in a long time.

“If a beautiful sunflower is somehow supposed to be evidence of the Christian god, then what is a parasitic worm that eats children’s eyeballs evidence of?” ― Guy P. Harrison, 50 Simple Questions for Every Christian