Shall we begin digging a little deeper?...

It's interesting really. Looking back can't we all see a little more clearly?

There’s one thing I find of value in my experience as a Christian. That’s the people and relationships I gained and built over the years. Life long in many respects. Aside from those who have chosen to walk away from me because of my worldview re-boot. I'm still and always will be here for them too. You all still matter to me. I feel the same for you as I always have.

It's interesting to me how the differing religious groups all view atheism. It's interesting how much outreach programs are all targeting people who need love and acceptance. But in the process if you come to the knowledge it's all bunk, you become a danger to them, and just associating with a non believer becomes a threat. I understand the fear. From the perspective of those with a Christian or theistic worldview, reason, logic and skepticism are the enemy. Enemies to be avoided at all costs. Even if it means shunning loved family members or dear friends.

Yes. When I became a Christian (by this I mean baptized by choice) I did feel changed. Most certainly. People who once kept me at arms distance suddenly became so wonderful and loving to me. It was like I was the head of my cheerleading squad. I was a part of this big group and we did have a lot of fun.

Then there's Scrapbooking and the 18-years I spent in this "world." It is a wonderful industry through which I connected with other people who also enjoyed expressing life in a creative manner. Scrapbooking's a hobby with a large female demographic of enthusists. They're predominantly stay at home moms and in my experience, highly theistic. I absolutely loved all the wonderful women I've had the pleasure of knowing. At the time, I was a proud Christian myself. I would stand strong for Jesus every chance I was given. That Kimberly’s not part of me any longer. I don't regret my experience as a believer. It's helped me view the world more clearly. I simply came to the realization, after much inner conflict, that, no, I didn’t believe God is real. Lables irritate me but if you were to place one on me, I think the most accurate would be "free-thinker." Someone who no longer allows others to do her decision making for her.

I love people. I love bringing out the best in everyone. I love pleasing people. I love surprising people with sincerity. Each person that comes to my salon and sits in my chair is a new challenge for me. Not because it's difficult for me to do hair. It's not, I love every part of it. The challenge is to help people see the beauty in themselves naturally.

As a Christian I did the same. Yet there was always an underlying pressure of planting seeds, and the idea of outreach in other countries always rubbed me the wrong way. Why should anyone impose their beliefs on anyone else? Oh yeah, because you won't get into heaven if you don't believe in Jesus as your personal lord and savior. So we need to get everyone we know and care about to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior, so we can all be in heaven together one day.

Think about that. That's some heavy stuff right there.

Inside of me was this constant turmoil. Is there really a place like heaven? Is there really a hell? I may want there to be a place that all the people I love and my children all go and will be forever together. But I could no longer pretend such a place existed when it all’s built on fantasy. Wishful thinking originating in the minds of our desperate ancestors looking for ways to explain the world around them, and control people in the process. Using ignorance to explain the unknown isn't a bad thing when it's the only tool you have at your disposal. Today we have science in it's relative infancy compared to religion, and it's offering objective evidence for answers to fill in the gaps of that ignorance. And what science suggests is in complete opposition to the guesses made in the Bronze Age.

So here we are. Boastfully supporting the god hypothesis while maintaining a highly skeptical perspective related to all other claims, fantastical or not, dictates a contradiction, at least in my mind. The ability to turn my skepticism and critical thinking on and off depending on the topic at hand is not in my character any longer. I wish to live and to love. I also wish walk through life knowing the most truths and being fooled by the fewest falsehoods.

I've been critized in the past for "changing like the wind." This use to make me feel like there was something wrong with me. But truly it's one of the best compliment, really. You see, the essence of being a life long learner is change and growth. Here's my Mantra: Do your best @ all times until you learn more, then do more.

"I am confident because I can admit who I am, what I've done, and love myself for who I've become."

~Unknown

You may feel a need to live a life in fear of losing your place in heaven, or by spreading the “good word". Or maybe the desperation of wanting everyone you know and love to believe what you do, so they can be in heaven with you one day. This alleged destination in the sky for which you have no objective evidence for its' existence. And that’s where the dehumanizing concept of “faith” comes into the fold. Faith. Why? So you can feel comforted, and a false sense of security. That’d be the bottom line in my mind.

I choose to live today. In the now. I have no idea what happens to us when we die and neither does anyone else for that matter. With that, I want to make every day I'm alive and well, count. Enjoy each day with out worry or any delusions that hold absolutely no evidence. Simple. In truth. Not fantasy, magic or superstition.

Thank you for your interest and time. Please feel free to share your thoughts and questions with me.

Here is one of my favorite new quotes I'll leave you with until next weeks post.

"Critical thinking is the indispensable skill for smart living in modern society, and skepticism is the essential posture for the fully awake twenty-first-century human being."

~ Guy P. Harrison.

Think good thoughts. :)